What we will miss at Christmas
by Eduard Schaepman, on 24 Dec 2020
Jozep and Maaria, catering entrepreneurs in Blaricum, were of course afraid of Corona. Not only financially, but also physically. They were unmarried, lived together and Maaria was expecting a child. Not from Jozep, the child was the result of a little ‘excursion’. But that didn’t matter anymore, everything was perfectly fine again.
Because of the corona threat, and with an eye on the future, the couple decided to search for the corona vaccine. That would become available one of these days, and even in three variants. But which one was the best, and which country could start vaccinating first? Jozep and Maaria wanted to be the first, so they decided to go the border triangle. After all, there they had triple chance of a scoop.
Before they could make the journey, they needed to have a ‘negative test result’, and proof of ‘necessary travel’. So, that’s what they did. The man got a pregnancy test at the Kruidvat, an essential shop that was still opened. He tested negative. The woman downloaded a document from the government site, which showed necessary travels.
The couple left Blaricum in a modern, electric car. Ingenious and green, but in terms of kilometer capacity very limited. Jozeph and Maaria chose the Pieterpad. In the version of paved roads.
Despite the strict lockdown they regularly ended up in a heavy traffic jam. Most people in the traffic jam drove in the direction of Belgium, where they could still shop because the shops were open.
It was quite a puzzle to get from one green gas station to another, without running out of energy along the way. All the more so, because they had forgotten their facemasks, and could only fill up at unmanned gas stations. There were clearly more people who had forgotten their face masks, because here too were long queues. But Jozep and Maaria regarded themselves as saviors of the world, and therefore chose for green gas.
It all took longer than expected, and Maaria gradually suffered from labour pains. Good advice was (too) expensive.
Jozep knocked at hotel after hotel, asking if there was a room available. That was the case, but the overnight prices had risen considerably. After all, an overnight stay was only possible including a copious dinner with enough drinks (ordered before 20.00 hours) and a generous breakfast.
fThere was plenty of enthusiasm for that. However, it was unaffordable for the catering couple that had to live for six months without income but with costs.
Maaria and Jozep moved on and found place in a marl cave, where no illegal party happened to take place this night. Unfortunately, in this version there is no mention of the warmth of an ox and a donkey, but fortunately the warming earth itself now provided for higher temperatures.
There it happened that Maaria gave birth to a healthy son. In silence. And yes, it is still possible to see without a doctor or nurse. One expects angels at such a moment. However, they had to stay at home because of the coronary restrictions because Cora had imposed a no-fly zone. By the way: songs like 'We will come together', and 'You are welcome' would not be very appropriate this year. Also, singing spreads corona and that's why there were no night masses. And ‘pulling out’ before singing didn’t work 9 months ago either.
There were some shepherds, who stayed at an appropriate distance, but unfortunately could not stay long. They had to make way for two kings. Two, because the black colleague was stuck at the BLM demonstration. He decided to keep the peace, but to stay at home.
And so, it became January 2021. The Christmas story has been told, but we are still waiting for the savior: Saint Vaccin de Corona. One vaccine in three forms.